The light at the end of the tunnel

So today I learned that I did not get the job I interviewed for, I feel a little disappointed, but really not so much.  The only thing is that I guess this was on my mind more than I thought, I really hate the unknown.
So I will move on.
So I finally today received the answer from the Landscaping committee that I was approved for the evergreens and trellis I want to put in my back patio area. 
So I will move on.
I can now concentrate on other projects I have unfinished, and move on.

If you want to see the
light at the end of the
tunnel, then sometimes
you have to stride down
there and light the

damn thing yourself.

(author unknown)

Growing up Gold

So when you get on with your life, and life happens as it will for all of us, riding that roller coaster of life.  We sometimes forget to look back and remember all the golden years of our youth.  Remember family picnics, the first day of school, new shoes and a new school bag.  Being old enough to walk to the bus stop by yourself.  Christmas morning when you still believed in Santa, (I still believe).  Watching as your siblings open their gifts you got them feeling like you knew just what they wanted.  Playing outside after the street lights came on.  Attending your first prom with someone you were in love with, even if it was puppy love.  Finally being old enough to go on a car date, and ride the back of a motorcycle.  I had such a wonderful childhood even into my teens.  I was not the best student, but I was very happy, I had lots of friends, and loved responsabilities.  Loved that people trusted me.  Getting my first job at the local supermarket finally a paycheck so I could buy things for my sister, parents and brothers.  The years we look back on are the Golden years, and I am thankful that they were mine.  So who knew life would be so special.

The Interview

So today I had an interview for a new job.  The job is right here in my bureau, someone retired and the job became available.  I was one of 4 candidates, not sure how I did, but everybody knows me, and I asume that they know what I am capable of.  I guess the question is do they want a 60 year old woman for this job. I will have to up date this blog when I get the news good or bad.  Either way I will be fine, I really love my job and my supervisor is the nicest young man, I just think I need a new challenge to keep me motivated.
Actually the best part of this job would be that I get to stay here with everyone I already work with.  I will let you know.....

So you think that you want to know something and when you get your answer you feel like your expectations of this were, well I don't know, what was I expecting?  I guess this feeling is my disapointment to some extent. I realize that some 44 years ago I didn't have a clue who I was never mind who anyone else was or would be some day.  It also makes you realize that in reality you were not remembering your true feelings from so many years ago, and the feelings that you have now are opening up memories. Honestly this whole experience has made me sad.  Life has a way of putting itself in perspective. So who knew.........

Regrets

So when my parents died 10 years apart, as their daughter I could say they had no regrets, they lived a good life.  Of course knowing that there were rough times for them through the years raising 4 children, money was tight, Dad was not always happy with his job.  But from my perspective, they were living a wonderful life.  They loved each other and their family, they knew how to have fun, and how to enjoy being quiet together. I am at peace with this, they had no regrets that we were ever told.
On the other hand, I wish I could say the same, life has been hard, also happy at times and I love my husband and children, and through the years you are more than happy to put your needs aside, put your feelings deep inside hoping they will never rise to the top. But I am sure now that that is a big mistake, you should always address your feelings and the things you need and want because if you don't you are just piling up the regrets, and after years pass those regrets get very heavy. It becomes something that you have to work on all the time, something that consumes you at times.  So if I could give advice that I was sure would be taken, I would say, pay attention to your regrets as soon as you feel them, or don't allow them to happen.  You are the only one that knows your true feelings, honor them. I will from now on.