Wow someone commented on my blog, that means someone is reading it, thank you whoever you are.
I am back home now and we are working on things, for the first couple of months back home I was like my own comedy team giving him the zingers one after the other, I think I needed that to get all the snide remarks that were pent up in my mind out. I did, and occasionally I still do.
I don't know if I have enough life left in me to begin trusting him totally again, time will tell. I think that the only pressing thing for me now is I have to see her in person. I know he does not want that but I am not asking his permission, I think I just need to see her.
I watched the movie Descendants over the weekend, we both did, and to hear the character Matt (George Clooney) vent all his feelings when he found out that his wife had been cheating on him, validated all my feelings, and after we went to bed I asked my husband if he saw all the similarities with my feelings and he said he did. There was a little bit of that shameful look on his face as he watched the movie but it was good.
Moving on is the right thing for who I am, I tried to picture myself living alone in some apartment but it did not feel right. I am doing ok, better some days than others, in some ways it made me more comfortable with myself.
The assumption is being made that hubby J. knows of and reads your blog so we really admire your strength while revealing your inner thoughts. Shame only lasts til cat is away! You are the stong one. See her or talk to her?
ReplyDeleteI think just see her.
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